[He's very aware the way he feels doesn't make much sense. He knows Fern hates that he feels this way, that it's actively upsetting his boyfriend that this is eating away at him. He knows he needs to get over it, but it's easier said than done. ]
It probably wouldn't- the charts probably wouldn't do it either. I get why I'm feeling like this. And I know it doesn't mean I love him less or...him loving me less. Honestly, I really do know all of that.
But it does feel like I wasn't enough. That I should have been more for him. He's had enough people failing him in his life.
[But he does understand that he can't ALWAYS be there. He can't always win, sometimes he is going to fail Fern and there's nothing he can do about that. But it still hurts, and he doesn't know how to make it stop hurting. To keep that voice in the back of his head from screaming at him for hurting someone he loves.]
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[He's very aware the way he feels doesn't make much sense. He knows Fern hates that he feels this way, that it's actively upsetting his boyfriend that this is eating away at him. He knows he needs to get over it, but it's easier said than done. ]
It probably wouldn't- the charts probably wouldn't do it either. I get why I'm feeling like this. And I know it doesn't mean I love him less or...him loving me less. Honestly, I really do know all of that.
But it does feel like I wasn't enough. That I should have been more for him. He's had enough people failing him in his life.
[But he does understand that he can't ALWAYS be there. He can't always win, sometimes he is going to fail Fern and there's nothing he can do about that. But it still hurts, and he doesn't know how to make it stop hurting. To keep that voice in the back of his head from screaming at him for hurting someone he loves.]
Sometimes, it's hard to believe that.