[He's not wrong, she could have said no, if he showed up anyway, she could have killed him. She listens to the list, surprised by some of the names not there, less surprised by the ones he does list.
She doesn't bother to ask about what he intends to do about the names he's driven off. That's for him to figure out and for them to choose to forgive.]
I told you once, you may have to live with never being forgiven even if everything about you changes.
[She tilts her head.]
Are you prepared for that? To never be forgiven by the ones you've driven away?
[At the mention of herself she closes her eyes and her hand twitches to stop herself from reaching up for her shoulder. There is no scar there, not PHYSICALLY. She opens her eyes again.]
You should have, yes. [She lets out a breath. He's not the first to scar her, he won't be the last. Her life dictates she be hurt time and again. And it isn't fair, as Varian is so often to point out, but she cannot change what has happened, she cannot change how her scars have shaped her. She is not sure she wants to.]
You did your best, yes. [She agrees with him again and then inhales. But she's been through much worse.]
So what do you plan to do now, if what I deserve is better? [She won't guide him on this one. She won't put the words in his mouth. He has to come up with what it is he'll do or else, he won't mean it. He can't mean it, if she gives him the words to say, the actions to follow. She's done that, and look where it's gotten them.
So this time, it has to be on his own, or it will mean nothing. She doesn't need to apologize to herself, after all.]
no subject
She doesn't bother to ask about what he intends to do about the names he's driven off. That's for him to figure out and for them to choose to forgive.]
I told you once, you may have to live with never being forgiven even if everything about you changes.
[She tilts her head.]
Are you prepared for that? To never be forgiven by the ones you've driven away?
[At the mention of herself she closes her eyes and her hand twitches to stop herself from reaching up for her shoulder. There is no scar there, not PHYSICALLY. She opens her eyes again.]
You should have, yes. [She lets out a breath. He's not the first to scar her, he won't be the last. Her life dictates she be hurt time and again. And it isn't fair, as Varian is so often to point out, but she cannot change what has happened, she cannot change how her scars have shaped her. She is not sure she wants to.]
You did your best, yes. [She agrees with him again and then inhales. But she's been through much worse.]
So what do you plan to do now, if what I deserve is better? [She won't guide him on this one. She won't put the words in his mouth. He has to come up with what it is he'll do or else, he won't mean it. He can't mean it, if she gives him the words to say, the actions to follow. She's done that, and look where it's gotten them.
So this time, it has to be on his own, or it will mean nothing. She doesn't need to apologize to herself, after all.]