[She tensed up immediately when he mentioned that Varian had said something, what had he said? What did he say?! Even if it was "just enough to paint a picture" what was the picture painted? Her entire body feels wired and geared up because this IS a scar she doesn't talk about. And every time Deerington or Trench brings up the memory of that bastard, the scar is cut into and made a fresh new wound she has to heal from.
She's not sure she has the strength to heal from it again while also healing from the pain Maul caused.
She stares at the floor, trying to decide what to do, while the memories are eager to resurface and she inhales sharply.
Usagi is so lost in her thoughts she practically jumps when his hand touches her shoulder, not even having noticed he moved closer. And right then, she does not look like the Guardian of the Moon, Champion of Love and Justice. Usagi does not look like the future Queen of Earth. Nor does she LOOK like the strongest, most powerful warrior of light in her galaxy.
She looks 18.
She looks scared and hurt and exhausted.
From his actions, from Trench, from her own past traumas that she desperately keeps from everyone because everyone has it as bad or worse and it doesn't LESSEN hers, she KNOWS that, but it makes it feel so... ridiculous to argue about how unfair it is.
It's ALWAYS unfair.
Maul didn't ask to be kidnapped and turned into a weapon
She didn't ask to be born with her powers and hunted down for them.
She's silent for a long moment, eternity and milliseconds in a single inhale.]
If...
[She lets out the breath. She wants to say "if ever this is used against me, we're done" to him, but she can't demand that of him. Trench can make people cruel, and Maul was already pretty nasty to begin with. Deerington made her kill her most precious people. Who was to say Trench wouldn't wring out every secret in his head?
Another breath.]
After I tell you... I need... [She felt so small compared to him, for a brief moment, she was scared of him, but it left with a breath.] I need space. [She whispered. She swallows to gain more of her voice.
Everyone has been begging her to give up on him, to let him go. She can't turn her back on him.
But she will take a step back.]
Maybe... Maybe once I tell you... it'll be a bit more clear...
no subject
She's not sure she has the strength to heal from it again while also healing from the pain Maul caused.
She stares at the floor, trying to decide what to do, while the memories are eager to resurface and she inhales sharply.
Usagi is so lost in her thoughts she practically jumps when his hand touches her shoulder, not even having noticed he moved closer. And right then, she does not look like the Guardian of the Moon, Champion of Love and Justice. Usagi does not look like the future Queen of Earth. Nor does she LOOK like the strongest, most powerful warrior of light in her galaxy.
She looks 18.
She looks scared and hurt and exhausted.
From his actions, from Trench, from her own past traumas that she desperately keeps from everyone because everyone has it as bad or worse and it doesn't LESSEN hers, she KNOWS that, but it makes it feel so... ridiculous to argue about how unfair it is.
It's ALWAYS unfair.
Maul didn't ask to be kidnapped and turned into a weapon
She didn't ask to be born with her powers and hunted down for them.
She's silent for a long moment, eternity and milliseconds in a single inhale.]
If...
[She lets out the breath. She wants to say "if ever this is used against me, we're done" to him, but she can't demand that of him. Trench can make people cruel, and Maul was already pretty nasty to begin with. Deerington made her kill her most precious people. Who was to say Trench wouldn't wring out every secret in his head?
Another breath.]
After I tell you... I need... [She felt so small compared to him, for a brief moment, she was scared of him, but it left with a breath.] I need space. [She whispered. She swallows to gain more of her voice.
Everyone has been begging her to give up on him, to let him go. She can't turn her back on him.
But she will take a step back.]
Maybe... Maybe once I tell you... it'll be a bit more clear...