lightthedarkness: (Usagi) (Think think think)
Usagi Tsukino ☾ Eternal Sailor Moon ([personal profile] lightthedarkness) wrote2021-09-01 07:29 pm
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lightthedarkness: (Sailor Moon) (A light in the darkness)

[personal profile] lightthedarkness 2021-11-25 06:25 pm (UTC)(link)
They're... a major hurdle, to be sure. And even knowing that I shouldn't give in to them, I still do, plenty of times. So it's hard work, it gets tiring, sometimes it's easier to give in. But that just makes me more depressed. I imagine it kinda feels the same, right?

I think... that's something you... have to come to terms with. People can forgive you, have forgiven you, but it'll just be words until you can also forgive yourself.

But maybe start with phrasing it... 'I will learn to forgive myself?' Then maybe it won't feel so daunting? Something to work towards rather than just having to accept?
droptheious: (I've been shockingly nice)

[personal profile] droptheious 2021-11-26 09:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I think it's more that understanding WHY anyone would forgive me is still...rough. Like it doesn't make a lot of sense? I'm still expecting people to see me as some huge fraud or...something. And I know that's all in my own head, I DO get that.

I just always feel like I could be doing better by people. ​

[He's in an unwinnable race with himself all the time.]

That still sounds pretty daunting, Usagi.
lightthedarkness: (Usagi) (It'll be alright now)

[personal profile] lightthedarkness 2021-11-26 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, could I tell you why I would forgive you? Not that you've done anything to me I need to forgive.[Quite the opposite.]

You're looking for perfection, Varian, and that doesn't exist. No one can be perfect, even you.

You've never been one to back down from a real challenge, daunting or otherwise.
droptheious: (I'll see her standing by the monorail)

[personal profile] droptheious 2021-11-29 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
Not done anything yet.

It's not about being perfect, it's about being good enough.

[It's absolutely about being perfect.]

Those are different challenges though. Those are things I can think my way through. I can't think my way out of this- thinking only makes it worse.
lightthedarkness: (Sailor Moon)(Mamoru) (Forgive me)

[personal profile] lightthedarkness 2021-12-03 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
Even IF (and that's a VERY big if, Varian) you did, I love you too much to just walk away.

That... I'm afraid is not anything anyone can convince you of, Vivi. I could tell you all of the VERY TRUE amazing things that make you MORE than "good enough." But you have to be the one to see your own value.

Maybe you just need to... rethink it in a different light, then. Turn the idea on it's head, see it in a new way.

droptheious: (She'll say it's not your fault)

[personal profile] droptheious 2021-12-04 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah. You've made THAT much clear already,

[He's not convinced it's the right thing, but he knows he won't change her mind on that.]

Maybe. I don't know how right now. It's just... a lot.
lightthedarkness: (Usagi) (Default)

[personal profile] lightthedarkness 2021-12-04 08:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm very stubborn like that.

It is a lot. But you know, you're doing a really great, big step by telling others. Not keeping everything in, letting others help you...

When you let people help you, it feels less "a lot" and more manageable.
droptheious: (Or is it?)

[personal profile] droptheious 2021-12-05 08:33 pm (UTC)(link)
I have noticed.

[He's glad to hear talking about it is the right step. He's been nervous about that, about putting too much on people, he doesn't want to be a burden. ]

I guess so. Everyone has so much to deal with themselves, though.
lightthedarkness: (Usagi) (Uuuh huh)

[personal profile] lightthedarkness 2021-12-06 02:30 am (UTC)(link)
Varian, you refuse to let ME use that excuse for even one second. What makes you think I'm going to let YOU use it?

Think about how you feel when I or Fern keep something hurting us to ourselves. It's the same thing.
droptheious: (Except for bionic eyes)

[personal profile] droptheious 2021-12-06 09:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[He hates it when she's right and calls him out on his bullshit.]

...

I guess it is. I'm sorry. I guess I'm not so good at taking my own advice.

[At least he's admitting it. Baby steps. ]
lightthedarkness: (Usagi) (Let's protect this world together)

[personal profile] lightthedarkness 2021-12-09 03:42 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not either. We can work on it, together. You don't have to do any of this alone, okay?
droptheious: (From destroying the Earth)

[personal profile] droptheious 2021-12-10 01:15 am (UTC)(link)
I know. Thank you, Usgai. You don't either, not ever.
lightthedarkness: (Usagi)(Chibi Chibi) (She was lonely as well)

[personal profile] lightthedarkness 2021-12-12 07:35 am (UTC)(link)
Well, that's what family does, Varian.
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