Have you? [She remembers Savage mentioning how Maul was always put first above all his own needs, she was ALSO working with him on it to way less success because why should Savage believe anything she says? She looks up at the mention of Shingo and she closes her eyes, smiling.]

What you don't understand is I'm the problem child in the family, not him. He gets good grades and even the girls like him. He's a good kid who isn't late or sloppy or dumb, probably because he had his big sister as an example of what not to do.

He likes Sailor Moon, thinks she's incredible, but no, he doesn't know she's me. Knowing Shingo like I do, me being Sailor Moon would lessen how incredible she is, not make ME more impressive.

[She remembers saying goodbye to mama, asking her to watch over the cats, not expecting to come back alive from the battle with Galaxia. She remembers hearing Shingo insist she was as much of an immature crybaby as always.]

It's safer that he doesn't know and that I don't ruin his idol. [She shrugs.] He's not all bad, I'm the only one he goes to for video games, he comes to me to help him with all the levels he can't get past or if there's a riddle puzzle in a game he knows I'll come to him to solve it.

But we're not warriors like you and Savage, and as I said, I was the problem child, not him.

Is that what he wants, though? To have all those kids? Because we both know Savage, if you tell him "go have kids" he's going to do it, and that's gonna be 12 miserable people because you told him to do something not because he wanted something.

[She knows Savage can be a good dad, she experienced it personally, but that doesn't change that not everyone wanted children.

As Maul explains his mother, she has to wonder why even have a third child then but maybe it wasn't something she could decide. Talzin didn't seem like the sort to let others decide things for her, though.]

I'm sorry to hear that about Savage and Feral. Despite all the problems I caused, I never doubted my mother's love.

[She smiles and at the thought of Savage being happy.] He'd make a really good dad. Can your species have children with other species or only uh, night sisters?

He needs prodding because you said yourself, he was seen as the spare. So why should he want something for himself if he was made to believe he was meant to take your place if something went wrong?

I hate mysteries. [She offers honestly.] And no, not JUST because I suck at solving them.

Neat. Lunarians can breed with other humanoid species too. Although, it used to be forbidden by the laws of our galaxy for us to even... think about being with humans. We weren't supposed to interfere with them, ya know? [They were a baby species still growing and advancing, her being in love with Endymion...] It'll be different in the future, though. [Well... sorta.]

Well, I have my thoughts as to why he doesn't verbalize anything.

Still a hard pass. Although, for a while there I was the Soldier of Mystery. [But that was because no one knew who the hell Sailor Moon was and her actual identity.]

Ah well... that... is exactly what happened... because... I fell in love with a human. I fell in love with the Prince of Earth and... well, it was a piece to a curse that caused the entire downfall of the entire Lunarian dynasty. So... forbidden means forbidden. It's why I was reincarnated as a human, to allow me that second chance. I'm the last true Lunarian. Even my daughter will be half human.

Well, Maul, how often do you ASK Savage for his ideas on how to do something rather than just telling him how the both of you will do something? Why should Savage think his opinion will be listened to if all you've done is tell him how things are going to go?

I found out later that our love was... essentially a piece to a curse placed on me and my kingdom at birth. My own dealings with the dark side, if you will. And so long as he wants to be with me, I've no intention of letting him go. [She and Mamoru have talked, of course, nights spent in his bed just holding one another, discussing whether or not this is Endymion and Serenity or Usagi and Mamoru. But they would remind one another how different things are, how Usagi and Serenity are different in as many places as they're similar, how she and Mamoru fell in love as Usagi and Mamoru first and that the revelation of their past lives came later.

But he's not here.

And she wonders if she must wait another several thousand years for him, this time, awake and aware.]

So... then swallow your pride, tell him that you don't always know the best answer, because, well, let's be honest, you don't.

[Her smile falls and she becomes much more forlorn, she's quiet for a moment before she puts a hand to her chest.] He... he is my soul mate, he makes me feel complete and whole in a way no one else ever can. Him not being beside me... it's a giant chasm in my chest where I know he should be and nothing... nothing can fill it. Nothing can come close. I feel... like... like there's a chain and lock around my lungs and until he's beside me again, I'm not going to be able to breathe easily. [She lets out a long breath.] But... as much as I ache, as much as it hurts to wake up every morning here and not have him beside me, not be able to call him or write to him and have him respond, I have other people who I love and who love me. I know he wouldn't want me to live every day just missing him, only focusing on his not being here. And, I have loved ones who need me.

So... I miss him... I can't even begin to put into words how much my world feels like it's just a thin shadow of itself without him here...

But I know Mamoru would never want me in pain, would never want me to only focus on the pain and the longing.

So, for his and my sake, I keep going.

And it's... it's easier to not bring him up, because I will... [She lets out a shaky breath, her eyes now watery.] if I start.... if I start I won't be able to stop and... [She wipes at her cheeks as a few tears fall.] And I just have to remind myself that I only miss him this much because I love him this much.

He is wonderful. [She immediately agrees, pulling out a handkerchief and wiping her eyes.] Even you would like him. Everything about him... he's... [He's just himself. He's Mamoru.]

I've waited thousands of years to be beside him, I just... I just have to wait some more, I guess. [Her hands move to her ring, the pink heart-shaped diamond is as much a part of her as her actual crystal. When she is desperate for Mamoru's warmth, she kisses it, and sometimes she imagines he's holding her or that she can smell the earth.

She lets out a breath, aware they've gotten way off track about Savage and Maul's memory.]

Just don't fall in love with him.

And you think I'm joking, I am not. [Usagi's ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP has not gone a. single. fucking. year. without someone trying to woo or outright kidnap Mamoru to be with him. Mamoru is just that amazing, she DOES get it. Doesn't make it any less exhausting.] And before you go "oh but I have Reaper."

I don't care.

You do, you just don't realize it.

Good, and let him know that he can openly speak his mind if he doesn't agree with you as well. That's important.

Baby steps are still movement, Maulrus!